Soldiers Seeing The Funny Side Of Life On The Frontline

A man and his dog: This canine shows off his surveillance skills as he looks through a telescope next to an armed soldier

Someone Get Him A Dog Tag... Hilarious Collection Of Photos Of Soldiers Seeing The Funny Side Of Life On The Frontline -- Daily Mail

Soldiers are known for their black humour on the frontline as they see the funny side of life in the face of adversity.

But these military personnel have taken things a step beyond in these hilarious images from the battlefield.

These photographs, released by slightlywarped.com, celebrate the best humour from our soldiers, airmen and sailors.

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My Comment: Yup .... it's a slow news day.

Murphy’s Laws of Combat

Murphy’s Laws of Combat -- Good Shit

[put together by Marines]

If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
If the enemy is within range, so are you.
Incoming fire always has the right of way.
What can be seen can be hit, what can be hit can be killed.
There is no such thing as an atheist in a firefight.

Friendly fire — isn’t.
Recoilless rifles — aren’t.
Suppressive fires — don’t.
Interchangeable parts — aren’t.

The most dangerous thing in the world is a second lieutenant with a map and a compass.

There is always a way.
The best way is never the easy way.
The easy way is always mined.
The important things are always simple; the simple things are always hard.

No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

No operations plan ever survives initial contact.
There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

Sniper’s motto: “Reach out and touch someone.”
Sniper’s philosophy: “If you run, you’ll only die tired.”

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My Joke For Today

Hat Tip: Theo Spark

A Spoof From The Onion On U.S. - Pakistan Cooperation

A Pakistani official shows exactly where the 5:23 a.m. sharp—no later—strike will occur.

Pakistani Intelligence Announces Its Full Cooperation With U.S. Forces During Upcoming Top Secret June 12 Drone Strike On Al-Qaeda At 5:23 A.M. Near Small Town Of Razmani In North Waziristan -- The Onion

ISLAMABAD—Pakistan's Inter-Services Intelligence agency restated Thursday its commitment to the fight against terrorism, pledging full cooperation with U.S. forces during the upcoming strike on an al-Qaeda safe house on June 12 at 5:23 a.m. near the small town of Razmani in the remote tribal region of North Waziristan.

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My Comment: The last sentence in the Onion report is .... unfortunately .... the one that hurts the most.

A Take On Delta's Policy Of Charging Returning Soldiers Luggage Fees

(Click on Image to Enlarge)

Update: Airlines change rules after soldiers charged for extra bags -- MSNBC

My Joke For Today

My Comment: GO FOR IT!!!!!

Hat Tip: Theo Spark

Do Not Mess With The Marines

(Click on Image to Enlarge)

My Comment: The last paragraph says it all.

Hat Tip: Tigerhawk

This Video Clears Everything Up

My Comment: A little humor after a long day.

Hat Tip: Prairie Pundit

General Petraeus Can Tell A Good Joke

President Ronald Reagan and National Security Advisor Powell in 1988. Photo from Wapedia

David Petraeus - And His Joke About Being Important -- The Guardian

American General reminisces at RUSI.

The head of all international forces in Afghanistan, the American General David Petraeus, has been in the UK over the last couple of days and did a question and answer session at the thinktank, the Royal United Service Institute, this morning.

My colleague, RNT, has covered the news elements of this, so I won't repeat them. They should be on the website shortly.

But General Petraeus did tell quite a good story before all the serious stuff began. He was given a slightly over the top introduction from the director of Rusi, Professor Michael Clarke, who likened him to the singer Tina Turner - saying he was 'simply the best'.

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My Comment: I would put a bet that the President Colin Powell was talking about was President Reagan (not President Bush the first).

Gaddafi Duck

My Comment: This video has gone viral. Watch and laugh.

The Differential Theory Of The U.S. Armed Forces (Snake Model) - Updated 2011

Photo from The Sniper

The Ultimate Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) -- Black Five

Upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations (AO)...

Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake.

USAF O-6 and above: "Get that damned snake off the fairway!"

Armor: Runs over snake. Never knows it,as well as where the tank and the snake is on the battlefield. Continues directly ahead wondering what all those new buttons in his turret do.

Army Aviation: Has GPS ten digit grid to snake. Stands off at a range greater than any other weapon system and destroys snake with precision fires at a cost equivalent of one Mercedes 350SEL. Returns to base for fighter management and a "cool one".

Army Shrink: Attempts to get snake to explain its sexual feelings about its mother.

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My Comment: Black Five gives that needed laugh once in while.

20 Funny Military Photos

From Uncoached:

It’s hard to believe that it’s still technically war time. I mean I know that families who have sons, daughters, brothers, and sisters out there fighting everyday understand that we’re still in war time but when you’re here in the U.S. and not fighting the fight, it’s difficult to understand that there are still thousands upon thousands of people out there risking their lives every single day.

But even the military is human. And as much as they have to be alert and know that a bomb could strike at any moment, even these folks need their moments to unwind.

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More Proof That The EU Is In Decline

British shoppers are to be banned from buying eggs by the dozen
under new regulations approved by the EU

EU To Ban Selling Eggs By The Dozen: Shopkeepers' Fury As They Are Told All Food Must Be Weighed And Sold By The Kilo -- The Daily Mail

British shoppers are to be banned from buying eggs by the dozen under new regulations approved by the European Parliament.

For the first time, eggs and ­other products such as oranges and bread rolls will be sold by weight instead of by the number contained in a packet.

Until now, Britain has been exempt from EU regulations that forbid the selling of goods by number. But last week MEPs voted to end Britain’s deal despite objections from UK members.

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My Comment: Selling eggs by the kilo?!?!?!?! They are certifiably nuts.

Some Sunday Night Humor

A World War II fighter pilot is speaking in a church and reminiscing about his war experiences.

"In 1942," he says, "the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember," he continues, "one day I was protecting the bombers
and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared."

There are a few gasps from the parishioners, and several of the children begin to giggle.

"I looked up, and realized that two of the fokkers were directly above me.
I aimed at the first one and shot him down. By then, though, the other fokker was right on my tail."

At this point, several of the elderly ladies of the church are practically swooning, the girls are all giggling and the boys are laughing out loud.

The pastor finally stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker'
was the name of a German-Dutch aircraft company, one which made many of the fighter planes used by the Axis powers during the war."

"Yes, that's true," says the old pilot, "but these fokkers were flying Messerschmitts."

Hat Tip: Theo Spark

Message To The White House

Cartoonist Michael Ramirez comments on the failed Christmas bombing of Flight 253.

US Government Stages Fake Coup to Wipe Out National Debt

U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt

My Comment: In case you need a good laugh .... watch the video.

West German Spies Collected Jokes From Behind The Berlin Wall

West Germany's intelligence service collected and
filed jokes told on the other side of the Berlin Wall

From The Telegraph:

West Germany's intelligence service collected and filed jokes told on the other side of the Berlin Wall to gauge the level of discontent, documents have shown.

Files released this week revealed the jokes were collected from letters steamed open by agents, from spies on the ground and wiretapped phone calls.

The gags were scrupulously collected and filed and dispatched to Bonn, much to the delight of civil servants.

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My Comment: I would love to (know/listen to) the jokes on the Taliban from regular Afghans .... I am sure there must be a few doozies right there.